Talking White - The Blog

Rachel's Story

2010-01-24T09:25:00.000-08:00

I have many stories, but one story comes from an experience at work. I've been at my job for almost 10 years now, but what happened during my 3rd year still stands out. As a customer service representative, I received an inbound call from a man whose issue was that he had received a notice advising him that a package had been delivered, but he could not find it. I went through the procedure of investigating the information the delivery courier had entered in the system & helped guide the customer through attempting to locate the package. Throughout the conversation, he told me how it was probably stolen because of all the blacks in his neighborhood with their pit bull dogs & loud music; how they are bringing his property value down, etc. He even went as far as to tell me how his distain for blacks began when his father owned a store, shot a "coon" dead for stealing from his store, and didn't get in any trouble. Huh? It took every bit of strength in me to not say anything; even my boss commended me saying even she might have said something. Naturally, the package was located; the delivery courier had placed it on the inside of his grill so it couldn’t be seen. He was so pleased, he commended me, praised me, told me what a wonderful help I was, and how he enjoyed speaking with me. He wanted to speak to my manager so he could compliment me. Of course, I couldn't resist: "Well, sir- I am glad you feel this way; because I am black- and hopefully you see that we are not all the same, and maybe you will not generalize in the future." Oh my. He. Went. Off. Told me I was talking white to fool him, ranted some other things and then hung up. And that's only one story of many, many more...

Angelique's Story

2009-12-30T19:49:00.000-08:00

As a child, I lived in middle class white neighborhoods and was regularly reminded that I was an “oreo” who talked “white.” After years of trying to fit in, I decided to ignore the “haters” and focus on being the best person I could be.

Today, I am an independent singer/songwriter/recording artist blessed with the opportunity to perform in many places throughout the world. I am often referred to jobs by other artists who respect my work. Recently, a friend referred me to a potential employer (let's call her Mary) so we could chat about an upcoming gig. Mary and I had one of the best conversations I have had in a really long time and I was confident that I had made a good impression. While we were saying our goodbyes, Mary casually commented: “I am sooo happy to find a nice WHITE girl singer. I’m really looking forward to working with you.” Wow. “Mary, I’m not white," I said. "But I’d be great for the job. Our mutual friend and many of the other well-known people I’ve worked for can vouch for my abilities,” I finished. “Oh well," she sighed. "I’ve got your number and I’ll get back to you.” I don't have to tell you how that turned out.

While Mary’s behavior didn’t really surprise me, it did disappoint me. In my life experiences, I’ve been told to mispronounce “police” so I sound “black.” One employer even told me not tell people what race I am, and yet another has told me not get any darker. Double wow.

Alas, life goes on. And so...just like when I was a little girl, I ignore the detractors and continue to love the skin I'm in...paying no attention to all of the haters.

Roderic's Story

2009-12-20T12:46:00.000-08:00

Stock photo

Apparently all this time I have been misinformed. I thought biology determined your racial makeup, but lo and behold it's your vocabulary, voice tone, and inflection that determine your race. The fact that people say someone "talks white" or "talks black" illustrates that there is still prejudice among us. We all take English classes in school, in fact it's one of the few classes that you have to take all throughout high school and college. So, if I, a black male, start speaking proper English (like I was taught), that makes me less of a black man? That's preposterous. Proper English is the language of the world, if you can't form a sentence without using double negatives "I ain't do nothing", then it doesn't matter if you're black or white. Read more here.

Rasheeda's Story

2009-12-03T09:20:00.000-08:00

I grew up in Pittsburgh, PA where I attended schools focusing on international studies. While science, math, arts and sports were also deemed important, language and speech were a large part of our curriculum. We also had an ESL (English as a Second Language) program, so there were people from all over the world at the schools I attended through junior high school. I ended up going to a predominantly white (I was 1 of 3 in my graduating class) high school after relocating to New Jersey at age 13. All of my black friends would say I must be so smart and speak the way I do because I went to this all white school. I had endless debates with people about how I didn't just learn to speak in the short time I lived in New Jersey, but education and wanting to be clearly understood was something fostered in me growing up in the "hood" in Pittsburgh.

Needless to say, it was very irritating! No, it was actually disheartening to see that young brown people in that area associated being articualate with being white and speaking "ghetto" as being black. At any rate, I kept my head high and simply let them know that being-or at least sounding-completely ignorant, was not "black", cool or to be a part of who I was!

Jennifer's Story

2009-11-11T08:06:00.000-08:00

ar·tic·u·late [ aar tíkyə làyt ]

To express thoughts, ideas, or feelings coherently;

to pronounce something or speak clearly;
to utter intelligible speech.

I’m convinced that the sound of my voice (second only perhaps, to the kinkiness of my hair) has been the defining struggle of my childhood and early adulthood. My classmates’ slanders that I “talked like a white girl” spurred me, at the age of 10, to try to adopt a Southern accent for about a week ([and] I’m from Los Angeles). I was a pretty dramatic and dreamy kid, so my mom let me do it for a while until she finally broke down and demanded to know why I was talking that way. I told her about what kids would say, and that I’d determined that if I spoke with an accent, I could speak slang better and the kids would like my voice. I didn’t usually see her that upset unless I had broken something in the house. She told me to never make myself stupid, and to never try to purposefully use bad grammar again.

It made me feel a little better, but didn’t take away the shame I felt over the years whenever I had to leave messages on people’s answering machines; or when I called someone for a meeting and thought I detected a slight hint of surprise when they saw me in person – not being what they expected. I don’t know if this was real, or in my own mind, but it shows how deeply this shame impacted my psyche.

I'd never told anyone about this until I was in my twenties. When I confided in my best friend about how I felt, she told me incredulously: "You don't sound like a white girl. You sound like Jennifer." I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. At last, in my thirties, I think I’m getting out of it. By the way, what I hear now isn’t so much that I’m talking white. That’s morphed into more of the backhanded compliment that I’m so articulate.

Gabriella's Story

2009-11-08T11:15:00.000-08:00

I grew up in the barrio of a small Central Valley town in California. I never felt any different until high school when all of my childhood friends had either dropped out or were at the continuation school. My mom had a different idea for me--I was forced to take all college prep courses--the only Mexican in every class!

Now I had a problem...the kids in class teased that I spoke with an accent even though I didn't even speak Spanish! And all of my friends from the neighborhood called me "White Girl". I quickly became too white for my barrio friends and too "Mexican talking" for the kids in class!

I felt humiliated by both sides. I quickly began to try to assimilate to the school crowd telling everyone that I was 1/2 white -- believable because of my unique [untypically Hispanic] last name.

Fast forward to college....I was accepted into U.C. Berkeley. What a culture shock! Here I would learn it was okay to be proud of your culture, your identity...I became a Chicana. I took every Chicano Studies course to learn about my people, I spoke Spanish with friends who were fluent. (Those 4 years of high school helped!) I was still considered a little pocha but not too bad.

Today...I live in a small border town near San Diego, California. And here I am "too White" all over again! I get "the look" from the other moms at my kids schools when they're all speaking Spanish (very fast!) and I miss what's going on. And when we visit my husband's family in Tijuana, they all speak Spanish to me as though I'm mentally challenged instead of just slowing down a bit. And those frowns from all the tias still hurt.

The constant feeling like you're not good enough or just not fitting in is hurtful and lonely.

Aditi's Story

2009-11-05T08:08:00.000-08:00

As a South Asian, I've encountered many different comments on my whiteness and lack of cultural knowledge. Even I used to throw around the term white washed to describe a fellow Indian who liked rock, wore preppy clothes, and stayed away from the Indian crowd. There is also the term ABCD which stands for "American Born Confused Desi," with desi being a term for South Asians. Now, I understand that just because I embrace my American culture as much as I do my Indian culture, it doesn't make me confused or white. I am proud of what makes me, me. And so should anyone else! Are you an American with cultural ties to a country outside of the US? Do you feel confused?

Kristin's Story

2009-11-04T09:03:00.000-08:00

Yes, I have heard the term twinkie before [to describe an Asian person as "yellow on the outside, white on the inside"]. When I was younger, I subscribed to calling myself' (as a term of pure entertainment) a "rotten banana" because I acknowledged my love for black culture (which made me rotten, with black spots) and I was yellow on the outside, and some white on the inside(?). I now realize that I was racializing myself and perpetuating these ridiculous food stereotypes. Have you ever perpetuated a stereotype?

Nishi's Story

2009-11-02T18:38:00.000-08:00

With my brown skin and black hair living in a very small town in the Netherlands, frequent stares are not unusual when I am walking down the street. But some stares stop immediately when I open my mouth and the expression on their faces make place for quite the astonishment. Because: Yes, I am Brown. No, I am not illiterate. And yes, I am an educated, proud Brown Girl who knows what she is talking about. As a child, a lot of people told me I was “so good at speaking Dutch!” and even now I receive compliments for the way I speak. Recently someone said he “wouldn’t even realise I am originally South-American if it wasn’t for my appearance.” Even though these people mean no harm when they compliment me with my fluency, I definitely realize what kind of prejudices they probably had when they laid eyes on me. I sometimes feel glad that I can be the person that makes those prejudiced eyes realize that Brown people can speak proper Dutch. Most of the time, though, I feel sad because I don’t feel completely accepted: People still feel the necessity to judge a Brown Girl on her appearance and assume she has to talk with an accent. Does Nishi's story ring any bells with you? Has anyone ever been surprised at how articulate you are?

Desiree's Story

2009-10-27T20:21:00.000-07:00

I am a first generation of Caribbean Hispanic heritage. My mom's side is from Panama (via Barbados) and my dad's side is from Colombia (before Panama became independent). I grew up with my grandmother and so it makes sense that from an early age I had a West Indian accent. When I began kindergarten in a mixed neighborhood, I was laughed at because of my accent, so I learned to "switch." I would (and continue to) speak one way in public and speak my Caribbean accent at home. And because my sister and I decided to do this, my parents and grandmother were adamant that we spoke "proper English" if we were going to live this way.

During my last year in college, I applied for a job with the government. I initially spoke with a woman on the phone and the interview went well; so much so that I was asked to come in for an interview. I arrived at the office and waited in the lobby. The secretary called the woman I spoke with and told her I was waiting. She happily came out to greet me and the secretary pointed to where I was sitting. I heard the woman ask the secretary: "Are your sure [it's her]?" (Keep in mind, I was the only person in the waiting room.) The woman then came over and while she was cordial, it was clear I was not what she expected. That is the first time I realized that my ability to "switch" had its consequences. And no, I did not get the job.
Do you switch from one accent or dialect to another at the drop of a hat? Has anyone ever acted surprised when meeting you after haven spoken with you on the telephone? Did anything in Desiree's story seem familiar or strike a nerve? What is the moral of this story?

First Lady Michelle Obama and "Talking White"

2009-10-25T14:16:00.000-07:00

"I remember there were kids around my [Chicago] neighborhood who would say, 'Ooh, you talk funny. You talk like a white girl.' I heard that growing up my whole life. I was like, 'I don't even know what that means but I am still getting my A.'" View the Good Morning America news report and read more here.

Lisa Bonet: On Being Called an Oreo

2009-10-25T14:00:00.000-07:00

“I had absolutely no idea where I belonged in life, I mean position and in school…I don’t know, growing up is so hard…It was really weird,” she told Ebony magazine. “because, like you know, the Black kids would call me ‘Oreo,' and I just didn’t feel totally at home and accepted with all those, you know, White rich people.” [Source: MixedChild.com]

Lola's Story

2009-10-25T13:57:00.000-07:00

"Apparently that's what I do. And I didn't get this label from other Blacks. You know who I'm talking about - those slang-using, "keepin it real", thugs and hood-rats. Oh no, I was given this dubious 'award' from an authority on the matter...an actual white person! Ok, maybe I shouldn't be hyping dude up like this, considering he wasn't the most standard-English-speaking individual himself, but hes white, so he must be some kind of authority (he)." Read more here.

Krisha's Story

2009-10-25T13:48:00.000-07:00

"Race in America is a touchy subject as it is, but why do we still separate or label others as another race when they don’t fulfill the pre instated stereotypes. One way that people’s race is redefined by society is their behavior, the way they act and speak. Talking white, talkin’ black, acting proper, and actin’ ghetto all affect how others are viewed and accepted in certain societies. Growing up in Richmond and going to a predominantly white school, has allowed me to fall victim to stereotypes associated with both black and white people. When at school, I have been asked to use analogies for the slang I use that others may not understand. As though me saying 'she was put on blast' in English class, or 'ohh girl yo feet is thirsty' can be better stated as 'her truths were brought to light' or 'excuse me, but your feet need some lotion'." Read more here and then listen to Krisha's radio show on Youth Radio.

Step One: Bullying Defined

2009-10-25T12:07:00.000-07:00

Wikipedia defines "bullying" as repeated acts over time that involve a real or perceived imbalance of power with the more powerful child or group attacking those who are less powerful. (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Fact Sheet #FS-200127) Bullying can be verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation. Likewise, bullying can be prevented when children are taught social skills to successfully interact with people. This will help them to be productive adults when interacting with bothersome people. What types of social skills do you think children can be taught so that they do not bully and more specifically do not use the false phrase "talking White"?

No Name Calling Week

2009-10-25T11:45:00.000-07:00

No Name-Calling Week is an annual week of educational activities aimed at ending name-calling of all kinds and providing schools with the tools and inspiration to launch an on-going dialogue about ways to eliminate bullying in their communities. Big or small, what are you willing to do during No Name-Calling Week to make a difference?

Words Hurt

2009-10-25T10:45:00.000-07:00